More than even I know, most likely. But there are a few things that are for certain.
It means I am fatter than ever, balder than ever, crustier than ever, my teeth are crookeder (yeah, I know) than ever. I have wrinkles and the makings of man-boobs.
My body aches more in the morning, and is stiffer in the evening. Right now my back is killing me from hard labor all day, and that familiar icepick in my middle back has come home to roost again.
I know more than I ever have, but I know that there is more to know than ever, so it's really just knowledge of how much little I really know. Yeah, that was hard to even write.
Every day the weight of my own failings confronts me. I am impatient with my kids, think myself smarter than my wife and ignore those around me. I speak too fast and shutup too slow.
I find it increasingly difficult to spend so much of my day trying to make money, but yet not focus unduly on it.
The allure of success and sex that pervades our society smells worse than any time in my life, but it does still temp.
And it is more than ever that I feel a longing for home, to be with my Lord. He's the One who knew ahead of time all those things I've just mentioned, and that I will wake tomorrow and struggle with them again tomorrow, and yet, He still bought me. That's a circuit-breaking thought. Go ahead and take a minute to trip it back...
Before I ever looked at one sexy commercial, thought one mean thought, coveted one ability, Jesus Christ had already planned to buy me. But the amazing thing is that I'm even covered for tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day... POP, there it goes again...
Maybe it takes a wrenching away of abilities and achievements to make us realize where true treasure is. Maybe, just maybe some of that wrenching comes with age.
So tomorrow, I will rise slowly, try to make my right shoulder work right, crack my neck, stretch my legs and ride around trying to make the money that I don't want to be mastered by.
By God's grace I will be mastered less by that money, fret less about those pains and the world will be a little more tasteless to my palette, because I know that this brutal, sorrowful, embattled day I live will bring me one step closer to REAL LIFE.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
Oh, that's good...